Spies Don't Keep Diaries
by DragonAceSg7
Summary: Movie-verse. Takes place pre-Iron Man 2. Established Natasha/Clint. Natasha was still surprised when she became a mother. Now that she is, she wants to do everything she can to not only protect her daughter, but make sure if something happens, her daughter gets to know her some day. Rated teen for later mentions of death, injuries, nothing graphic.
1. Beginnings

**I do loves me some Clintasha/BlackHawk.**

**No set time frame with this, though events start pre-Iron Man 2. Puting in Avengers because Clint isn't in Iron Man 2. Also will eventually go through those movies. Will try and warn for spoilers.  
**

**Summary: Nat never thought she could get pregnant, then suddenly she is. This is the little notes she's leaving in a journal to her baby girl for when she's older. Most are from Natasha's point of view, some are from Clint's.**

**First time writing in the Avengers/Marvel Universe. Mostly a writer of Teslen for Sanctuary.**

**Reviews are love, flames get dealt with by my Red Lantern ring ;). Each chapter is a new entry, hope you enjoy!.**

* * *

My name is Natasha Romanoff.  
No.  
My name is Natasha Barton.  
I'm not one to keep journals. The more someone can know about you, the worse for you. But I can't sleep tonight and since I don't know if when you read this I'm still around, I wanted to leave you something.

My name is Natasha Barton and I'm your mom.


	2. Your Daddy

**2nd chapter, Natasha tells more her daughter more about her daddy. Yes, she uses the "L" word but she's writing to her daughter, so any OOCness is from that and her desire her daughter has a better, happier life.  
**

* * *

It's funny, you're so little and so small you can't even see me or your dad, yet I feel the need to make sure you know everything.

Your dad is Clint Barton, the man who saved your momma's life.

Years ago momma was a not nice person. She did jobs for people who were also not nice. Your daddy came to where I was and took me away from the bad people. He let me feel safe and something that I hope you know all about, love.

I became a better person because your daddy loved me so much. And because of that love, we had you.

We didn't know we could be a mommy and daddy because of things that happened when I was with the bad people. But then one day the doctor said we would be parents.

Don't tell him I said but your daddy kind of passed out.

Both your daddy and I were pretty scared. We had all sorts of training, but it was about how to stop bad guys, not how to take care of a little girl or boy.

We didn't know you would be a girl until the day you were born. Daddy and I wanted to be surprised.

Even though we were scared, your daddy promised me that we would figure out how to be good parents, and I hope that we were at least decent.

You're so tiny and beautiful, you've no idea what tomorrow will be and neither do I but I can't wait.


	3. NAmes

**Talking about her Daughter's name and Clint's nickname for her.  
**

* * *

I can't sleep again, little one. Daddy calls you Angel, I think you might end up thinking that is your name.

It's not a bad name, though not the one we gave you together.

My little one, my darling Anastasiya. Your daddy thought you should be named after the lost princess. Somehow it seems to fit, since you are our secret so we can keep you safe.

Daddy's Angel, Anastasiya Dove. I wanted your name to be able to fly like Daddy's nickname.

You are our Anastasiya Dove Barton.

You have your daddy's eyes and your mommy's hair and we both love you so much.

Our little, Angel who will fly in the sun like her daddy and be strong as the sea like her mommy.

I think your mommy has spent too much time reading silly books again, little one, her words are all fancy.


	4. Naps

**Back from a long mission and Nat is grateful to be home.  
**

* * *

I've missed you so much, little one!

Your mommy had a too long mission, without daddy too, and I'm so glad to be home.

You're having your afternoon nap when I walk in the door, I can't bare to wake you, or your daddy.

Daddy is laying on the sofa, asleep, holding you on his chest as you sleep too. It looks like you both had a rough night, I'm guessing it was your new tooth wasn't it?

I know you won't remember now but I'm pretty sure that was it.

So I try and make dinner for daddy and have your bottle ready by time your tummy wakes you up in an hour.

Yes, your mommy just wrote tummy, daddy will probably tease her about it later, but that's okay, daddy is nice about his teasing.


	5. Colds

**A night many parents know. Thank you so much to all the favs and follows!  
**

* * *

It's the middle of the night and your momma is glad you're finally asleep.

You've had a bad cold and an ear infection and when you don't feel well, you seem to only want daddy and daddy is currently on a mission.

I don't take it personally, daddy is better at the cuddle stuff and I know he sings to you.

Mommy doesn't really think she can sing.

Also somehow your favorite little plush, a little bear with a bird on it's tummy, has gone missing.

I wonder if as you read this you still have that thing.

Daddy calls it Bird-Bear. And he's missing.

If figures when your cold is at its worst, your daddy got called away.

I'm so sorry, little one. I know our jobs are complicated, confusing and probably a bit mean, but your daddy and mommy are good at what we do and doing our jobs helps keep you safe.

Momma is going to search the house again for Bird-Bear, maybe if I get lucky I'll find him before you wake again.


	6. Oops

**Bird-Bear has been found!  
**

* * *

Your daddy had Bird-Bear.

And I swear, my little one, you learned mommy's 'you did what?' face already and you can't even really crawl.

You make me so proud.

Somehow he ended up in your daddy's bag and went on the mission with him.

At least he, and the bear, are both home safely.

And you are finally sleeping through the night again, though of course now your silly momma is not.


	7. First Word

**Mommy has been gone on a long mission so daddy decides to do an update in the special book.  
**

* * *

Hi, Angel, it's your daddy.

I know this is mommy's secret little book but she's been gone on a really long mission and I know she misses you.

You said "momma" today. I know she's going to cry when she finds out.

We'll keep practicing so you can say it right when she makes it home.

You make me so proud, Angel.


	8. Momma!

**Nat's reaction to First Word.  
**

* * *

You said "momma!"

Your daddy was right, I am crying.

After being away it's the most wonderful thing to hear. You sound so beautiful.

I love you, little one, you make me so proud.


	9. Perfect Aim

**So encouraged by the followers on this. Nat writes a bit longer this time since she's missed a few things.  
**

* * *

It's been a long time since I wrote you anything, little one. And for that, mommy is sorry.

Daddy and I do better on missions together and while we didn't have too many long ones, we had a lot of them.

When we were home we both spent every waking moment with you, even when you were asleep so I didn't get a chance to write you anything.

You're getting so big now. You can say daddy and are starting to crawl. Have two more teeth and think Peek-A-Boo is the greatest thing ever.

Mommy and daddy are happy to play over and over because you laugh every time, and it's a wonderful, happy sound we never get tired of.

You keep trying to say 'Bird-Bear' too, though that's a bit harder.

Daddy knows just when you want him though. You wave your arms and sputter the same sounds. Took your momma a few times to figure that one out.

Daddy also keeps letting you feed yourself. If as you read this you wonder why there is an orange spot on the wall in the kitchen, that's why. In an attempt to eat something with little circle noodles and some orange sauce that daddy gave you, your attempts with the spoon caused it to go everywhere.

We weren't mad, little one, in fact, your daddy was laughing for ten minutes after by the sheer strangeness in angle you managed to have to hit that spot.

I think you gained your daddy's aim, little one and his sense of humor, because you laughed right with him.

Thinking on that makes me smile too.


End file.
